Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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