Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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