It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
