dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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