i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
