Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize