just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
