How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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