Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I was not drunk enough for that final.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
