i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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