Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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