I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
