i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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