my mouth tastes like poor choices
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
i think im in europe. pls send help
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
