so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
