he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Well I just put wine in my tea
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
