Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
