i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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