if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
