Grow some girl-balls and come out already
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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