I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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