Christians are straight up FREAKS
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
she told me i tasted like america
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
