what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
