its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize