the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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