you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
