I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
