how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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