She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
