allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
