SEEEEXXX PLEASE
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
