I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
