All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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