Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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