You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
