Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
You can't special order awesome
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
