definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
