when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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