If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
