i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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