Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
