So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
We got so high we made milksteak
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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