you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Little spoons don't ask big questions
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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