RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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