I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
