Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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