dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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