I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
