I accidentally burped into my bong.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
