Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
