Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
