i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize