I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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