I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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