holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
