these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
