it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
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