look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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