You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
