I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
