I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
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