You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
it was like eating out sand paper
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
