i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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