U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
