Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
